As these, and many more, realizations come to the foreground of my thoughts instead of the background intentions - it also becomes clear to me that modeling these myself teaches more than just telling her these things.
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A mother took a book out of her approximately 10 year old daughters hands, then proceeded to berate her:
"The reason your brother can read these books is because his IQ is SO MUCH HIGHER than yours. He's so CRAZY insanely smart he can understand these books. You just can't. You need to go pick out a book that's at your grade-level."
I watched the expression on that little girls face go from excitement to devastation .
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